Health Update

Thank you to those who emailed me after my last blog entry to encourage me and tell me you were praying for me. Almost everyone who contacted me didn't realize I was sick for differing reasons. It's really hard to know what the balance is in sharing with people. As I said before, my name has been on the church prayer list since the end of July, and some others know, but I'm not sure they comprehend the severity. I shared it in a note on facebook back in Aug, and have alluded to it here and there, but I have failed I suppose...as far as facebook world goes...to let people know how things really are. The balance I struggle with is knowing how much to say how often. With a long term condition, it could get really old, really fast. I do not want to be one of those people who is constantly complaining about their ailments (You know who I'm talking about!). Yet, I do want to share with my friends and let them know what is going on.

Besides, in spite of having a long term condition and it keeping me from participating in life outside these walls too often the last 6 months, and in spite of the loneliness which creeps up on me on occasion like it did last week, I do have LIFE. Some days it doesn't feel like the life I want, but most days it has joy, laughter, and love. I found a quote the day after I posted that last blog entry that says, "The smile on my face doesn't mean my life is perfect. It means I appreciate what I have and what God has blessed me with." That's what I want to be about. Even when life is hard, I can focus on what God has blessed me with and the hope I have in Him! So, I can post silly statuses, funny things my children have said, pictures of the memories being made, and Scripture, and I will still be authentic. Because those things are real in my life. Very real. They bring joy in the midst of trials. I try very hard not to let the trial...however long...define me. So, how to find the balance is the issue for me. How to let people know that, yes, life is hard right now, but yes, life is also blessed in spite of that. How to let people know that we have needs without becoming a burden.

I know the 7 or so people who contacted me...and perhaps more...prayed for me. I know my children and husband were praying for me. I felt it, and Sunday morning, although my body was still so fatigued I could not sit up, my Spirit was lighter and at peace. Nothing had changed, except a handful of you were praying and you let me know that. The Lord hears our prayers, and sometimes we just need to know that people do care. Gradually through the day Sun. and since then, I have gained a little strength back....at least enough strength to be able to sit for longer periods of time, to be able to get my own lunch out, to put one load of clothes in the washer....not all at the same time. I can do a thing or 2, then sit another hour or 2. To not have to spend the entire day lying down. So, even though my spirit is better, nothing has changed. We still need prayers, we still need help, I still need my health restored.

I am planning to go to a Nutrional Wellness Clinic as soon as I can get an appointment. They are only open Wed.-Fri. Although, my condition is not specifically nutritionally related, the thought is that with good Whole Food supplements (because we can never get what our bodies need in our current food supply) and diet (You will hear me screaming when I have to give up pasta!) that the body can then be healthy enough to heal itself. I am not sure if this is what I need, but I know it can't hurt, and nothing else is working. I will just need prayers for discipline! My diet is not too awful in the sense that most of our food is homemade, we seldom eat out, I seldom drink soft drinks and never coffee or alcohol, etc., but it is also not perfect.

~Please continue to pray for me.
~Please continue to pray for James~ for his strength to keep up with all that is on his plate right now, for help for him in meals or other needs if God wants to provide that through others, for his ministry and writing..that it would not be neglected because he is caring for the home and my needs and that he wouldn't be distracted by the enemy, for God to show us how He wants to provide monetarily for this ministry (and, therefore, our family) and that others would give as He lays it on their hearts, and pray for his own health issues.
~Please pray for the provision to go to this clinic. As we prayed for God to provide the money if He wanted me to go there, someone graciously, anonymously, sent money this weekend that was almost the exact amount of the initial visit. Our hope is that any supplements they want to put me on will replace at least some of the many, many supplements I am already taking, which are a couple of hundred dollars a month. It will also require an unknown amount of follow up visits.

If you are not aware of what is going on and want to know, please feel free to ask...the short answer is Adrenal Fatigue, which sometimes borders on Adrenal Exhaustion (which leaves people completely bedridden). There are numerous symptoms that go along with it.

Thanks again, and love to you all.

When I'm a Grandmother

I was over at my friend, Tammy's, blog (http://agarden4tam22.blogspot.com/), and she had a post about finding her grandmother's Bible, well worn and loved. It just about brought tears to my eyes. That's the kind of grandmother I want to be. Well, not the well worn part. : ) But, one that leaves a legacy of faith, hope, endurance, encouragement, and love. I want a well worn Bible to leave behind. I was thinking as I read her post how in this day and age, even those of us who read our Bible, never have a well worn one. As soon as it starts fraying a little, or we tire of the color, we go buy the newest, latest, prettiest edition. And, although, we can certainly leave a Godly heritage and still have new Bibles, to me there is just something appealing about leaving behind the well used, obviously treasured, Bible for my children and grandchildren. Not in a prideful way. To me, it's just that sign, symbol, of a life well lived for God. Something they can look back on, and remember all that we've taught them. Of course, what I've put into the children is the real sign, but something they can look at when the times get rough, and be encouraged that their futures have been covered in prayer.

I've never spent time praying for my future grandchildren. My time and mind in prayer always seems to be on current situations, and my children's future spouses and relationships with God. The more immediate future. In the last few weeks, though, as my first child (2nd in age order) gets very close to her wedding day (4 months now), I have found myself praying for my future grandchildren, and I hope to make that an intentional prayer from here on out.

"I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth." (3 John 1:4)

I have every intention of being the FUN grandma!! haha. Seriously! I'm gonna be the grandma who gets in the floor and plays games....okay, with the back, we'll probably sit at the table....the one who makes cookies with sprinkles, the one who lets them get out playdough and shows them how to make some retarded looking creature, who takes them camping and to amusement parks. I want to leave that legacy, too, because I KNOW from my own children's experiences just how important THAT kind of love is, too. But, Lord, make me the grandma who prays, who helps instill your Word into them, who tells them stories of your faithfulness in my life~ a story that they love to hear!