Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Where We Are in the Lyme Battle

In an effort to not talk too much on facebook about my health, and in a flood of stuff happening in the last few weeks, I wanted to write down a few things in a more organized way. There seem to be some puzzle pieces coming together, and we pray they are going to get us much closer to a complete picture.

A quick mention for those not on facebook, May-the first of Aug, I did a very harsh, chemo-like treatment that killed a lot of stuff, but left me weak and still sick. This treatment kills and cleans out everything,  even the fat cells where dead bacteria and toxins get stored. This was a kind of hail Mary that we think worked in a lot of ways, but didn't fix everything. There is still so much damage from 11 years of Lyme, and right now it's hard to tell what's damage and what's leftover Lyme...if any.

Last week we did some new testing that computer scans every system of the body, and gives a lot of information about what is effecting it. That includes bacteria, viruses, weakened organs, environmental factors, etc.

Some of the more significant things we found~

1. My cellular energy is very low. On the 1-10 scale with 10 being the worst, it was a 10. Cells produce ATP, which give our body energy to function. My cells aren't doing that, and it's from long term Lyme.

2. The ATP from the cells give our bodies the energy to push toxins from our bodies when we detox. Without the ATP, my body doesn't have the energy to do that well, even with supplements. So, I'm killing off all of this bacteria and toxins, but it's struggling to get out of my body, and that makes me sicker and weaker, which means my body doesn't have the energy to get rid of it, and it goes round and round.

3. I have known for at least a year that I sometimes have issues with EMFs from electricity, cell phones, computers, laptops, etc. Feeling the effects of that seems to come in stages. I have one medical office I go to that always effects me. It's their fluorescent lights, even though I don't feel that anywhere else with the lights. Something about these makes my nervous system shut down. I have to wait in the car until they call me for my appointment, then I go straight to the back where they have turned off the lights and have non-fluorescent lamps. At any rate, we had kind of thought I was doing okay with most of it, since I don't have that kind of reaction to anything else anymore. The tests showed otherwise. The EMFs are apparently having a huge impact on me, and are making me sick, and keeping me from healing.

4. I am in chronic dehydration, even though I drink usually almost a gallon and a half of water per day.

In response to these test results, a few things are happening.

1. I have started using an ionic foot bath. I was already doing detox, but this one uses the electricity for the energy to pull the toxins out, since the cells don't provide it. I can feel it pulling things out stronger than just the regular salt detox. Getting the toxins out will help the cells heal so that they can produce energy again...besides the fact that I need the toxins out anyway.

2. I have begun 3 supplements to strengthen and restore the ATP.

3. I need a system to block the EMFs. One was recommended to us, and James has researched them. There are 2 parts, and both parts are needed because they overlap. One is a whole house system, and one is a personal one in the form of a bracelet. One or the other would be helpful, but not enough. The bracelet is especially needed in addition to the house one for sleep and for when I leave the house. But, the bracelet doesn't provide everything needed on it's own. Plus the fact that Lyme gave me skin sensitivity..."hyper sensitive to touch", so I don't know if I can wear the bracelet 24/7.

Besides that all of this will be the missing pieces to this puzzle, the prayer request is to be able to buy these EMF protectors. Together they are $610, plus shipping. We already spend over $1,000 a month on doctor visits, Lyme treatments, and supplements to keep me functioning, and we don't have an income. The Lord has blessed us amazingly, and He gives us what we need at just the moment we don't know how we will keep going. We don't have the money for this, but we are asking Him to provide this protection so that I can fully heal.

I am already feeling the effects of these changes..the ionic foot bath and the new supplements. I have been extremely fatigued and having other detox symptoms, especially today. We believe He is the one revealing to us at just the right time what the next steps are, and we are trusting Him for the full restoration that we believe He has promised.

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Ready to Quit

Y'all....yesterday I was ready to quit. 

It was a hard, hard day, and I was so very sick. That was actually day 3 of being too sick to function, but it had gotten increasingly worse each day. I knew yesterday that this was just the beginning, and I honestly didn't know how I was going to take one more breath this way.

After cutting the new treatment down for the trip to 9 drops 3 times per day, I had started increasing them by one drop (3 times per day) last Wed. night. When I got to 13 drops, it turned ugly. I stayed at 13 the next day, and even though it was very hard, I went to 14 yesterday. The fatigue so strong and difficult that you really aren't sure you're going to live. (I am not exaggerating.) Weak. Nausea all day long. Severe back pain when I moved. Nerves frayed. Nerve endings in my back so frayed that it feels like it will send you over the edge for a shirt to even touch it. Off and on stabbing pain in my throat.  Feeling of constant heartburn in my chest (though it wasn't really heartburn). Heart pounding. Already major sensory issues turned up a notch. All of this caused by 2 things~ Toxins released into my body from Lyme die-off and viruses being activated by the treatment.

 In the midst of this yesterday, I read this~

What are you growing impatient to see? Are you ready to give up? If it’s something worth waiting  for, please hang on.

Don’t try a short cut. Don’t abandon hope. But rather submit your plans to God, and ask for more of His Spirit in your life to endure the wait.

I’m pretty sure it will be worth it in the end.
- Glynnis Whitwer

I knew that was for me. It didn't make me stop wanting to quit. But, I kept praying through it. I praised. I had a chiropractor appointment yesterday, and that helped, since it helps detox and usually helps my fatigue short term. I have also increased several supplements when these attacks hit, and they do help some, but on a day like yesterday, it was not very noticeable. I had a lull last night, and felt much better (relatively speaking), but I still didn't feel like I could take an increase. So, today I stayed at the 14 drops and the morning was much better.  I just took my second dose of the day, and I feel more symptoms creeping in, but I'm going to fight. This break today is a gift from God, and it's enough that it gives me the courage and strength to increase to 15 tonight or tomorrow. To fight another day. To keep waiting and trusting what He is doing.

Much of the sickness means it's dying. We believe it is now dying faster than it's reproducing. We pray that it's doing the job the research says it does and is killing everything bacterial in every hidden place.

Please pray that I have strength and courage to keep facing this even when it grows so intense. That I won't quit. The higher dose I can handle, the better the chances, and the shorter the time. God has brought me here, and I plan to faithfully follow what He has laid out for me. Pray for God's mercy in the symptoms and continued breaks that give time to breathe and renewed strength. Pray for my children and husband as they stand by me every day. Pray that we will soon see His blessed healing and glory to Him!

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Escaping Reality....Reality

Most people who read this blog see it through Facebook, so you know that we just returned from 10 nights at Disney World ...5 days in parks, and 5 rest days between, though a couple of them weren't complete rest days. It was Marissa's 18th birthday/graduation trip. I had so much fun with the girls and laughed a lot. I also fought a huge physical battle.

I know the Lord helped me, because there is no other way I could have gotten through a trip like that, especially with the new treatment I started and how much sicker I have been since Dec. and more so since April.  I went to Disney just over 2 years ago, and He gave me such a miracle that trip. This one was a little lighter on the miracle, and heavier on the helping me through it even though it was tough. Still it was not without some huge things. Lyme has been making my back hurt for a couple of months. A LOT. Severe, gasping pain when I move. But, during the trip, it never hurt once. A huge blessing! (It greeted me again yesterday.) And, despite times of being very sick, there were many times, especially through the days at the park, that He sustained me and gave me strength I don't usually have and kept me going when I didn't feel like I could.

We purposefully checked out of the campground late the day we left (Okay. So we didn't plan to be quite THAT late!), and it was dark as we drove out. I looked out the window, watching small lakes and palm trees (have I mentioned how much I adore palm trees? and, Florida?) quickly go past, and silent tears began to slide down my cheeks. The escape from reality was over. See, even though I couldn't have put my body through another day in the park no matter what, and even though I was drinking a Lyme treatment 3 times a day and having to plan our park meals around them plus extra pills through the day to keep me functioing, and even though I was having to take every other day off to stay in bed, and even though by evening every day, I was so exhausted I could barely get out of the wheelchair....I could almost forget how sick I am.

Getting away from sitting in the house every day, day in and day out, mostly spending my time alone, seldom with any trips away from the house except for doctor appointments, and doing something that is actually fun, is unbelievably freeing. Even when my current definition of fun is not always what most people think of fun....though I had some of that this trip, too. To just be away from doctor appointments, to be out of the house, to do those fun things, to see my children laugh and make memories, to escape the everyday realities, makes it almost possible to just forget if even for a short time.

So, leaving was hard. Knowing what reality would be when I got back was hard. But, God is in the hard, and He continues to help me here, too, just as He always has. (That's not to say that I don't laugh, have fun with my family, and make memories here. It's just different to be away. Just like any vacation, but infinitely more.)

So, reality. Reality is that I was so exhausted and weak, James had to support me to get in the house when we got home. After a day of rest, Daniella had a dance recital, so I pulled out reserves I didn't really have, and God helped me be a dance mom that day. I got out the hot sets and a curling iron and spent over an hour giving ringlets to a sweetheart who has such a massive amount of hair you couldn't imagine. And, off we went. She did awesome, by the way!

I've been resting for 2 1/2 days since the recital, and it's the 5th day we've been home from the trip, and I am barely functioning a lot of the day. The rest of the day, it's still tougher than normal. I'm not recovering very well, and actually feel much worse. A number of struggles besides fatigue and weakness. I had hoped to be able to start increasing my dosage of treatments back by now, but my body is not strong enough to handle any more yet. It's hard not to be discouraged and lose hope. God and my husband keep pulling me back to hope, though. Hope that this is not forever. Hope to keep going and fighting and to keep drinking nasty tasting treatments.

We do know the treatments are making an impact on the Lyme. That's why I am sicker. The ones I have done since Oct. were making an impact, but the Lyme was reproducing faster than it was being killed. I'm not responding like all his other Lyme patients. (I've heard that one before from all 3 doctors!) So, we try this new one. It, too, is killing it. Killing Lyme means getting worse before you get better. And, worse I am. I can tell a difference with this new one; that it is doing more and killing more. The side effects of the die off (not the actual treatment) are much worse
as it fights to stay alive, moving to different areas,  and it releases and floods the body with toxins. Which may be part of what I am experiencing since being back. Some of this could actually be feeling horrible from that instead of not recovering, although I do feel worse now  at a lower dosage than I did at the higher dosage before we left. It could be a combination of treatment and trip. (I decreased it for the trip, so that I could make it through. I couldn't do anything the week before we left, so I went from 22 drops 3 times a day down to 9 drops 3 times a day.) If I am able to start increasing it again, I will probably get worse still. The goal is 25 drops 3 times a day, adding no more than one drop per day. It's scary, but not doing it is even scarier. Because not ever being out of this place of sickness is the scariest of all. So, as hard and terrifying as it can all be some days, we step out in faith when it's time, and pray that God uses it to glorify Him and bring healing to my body and for the sake of our family. He has continued to lead us every step, so even when the emotions are overwhelmed, the faith says that God is faithful and will do what He has promised.

Thank you to all who pray! 

                            Our first day in Magic Kingdom

                            Our graduate with Mickey!
                       Goofy coming over and kissing my hand :)

Friday, March 6, 2015

Our First Grandchild!

 On July 19, 2014, our daughter, Briana, gave birth to our first grandchild, Juliet McKay. She is a precious, beloved, gift from God. I was very blessed to spend the week before her birth with Briana and Troy, be there for her going into labor, being in the labor room with the two of them, and James, who joined me after the first week, and I stayed with them at their house for 2 weeks after her birth. The Lyme was in remission at this point, so even though I was still sick, God gave me enough to be there and do this with them, and I will forever be thankful!

My first chance to hold her. I'd been up for about 40 hours at this point!

Daddy, Mama, and little Juliet McKay

Her Pawpaw is in love with her. He joined us in spending many hours getting through those first 2 weeks. A small crisis and antibiotics at birth caused a little one to not be able to sleep unless she was being held by someone.
One very happy, proud Aunt Daniella. She cried when she first saw her, and said she didn't know that God could make something so beautiful.
Aunt Ashley flew from Alaska and made it two days after her birth.
Pawpaw with daughter and granddaughter

coming home
Leaving after the 2 weeks was so hard. One of the hardest mother things I've had to do. Briana and I both cried and cried.

Happily, for the first 5 months, life worked it out where we were able to see them about every 2-3 weeks.

Daily Taking the Next Step

Boy, this speaks to where I am. For me, tasks are not the issue (except the tasks of doctors appointments and pills)...having nothing is the issue. It's hard. It's lonely. As the Lyme is dying off this time, the physical is getting harder and harder, and that makes the days harder. I definitely cling to Him to take the next step, which is making it through each day with joy and giving when there's not much to give, and to have hope for the future. This season has had it's purposes, and apparently still does, the fire has been turned up the last few months, but I am praying for a vision.... a vision of what God wants to do, is going to do, in our lives. It is definitely true that the only way to live an undefeated life is to live looking to God.

"…in much patience, in tribulations, in needs, in distresses. —2 Corinthians 6:4

When you have no vision from God, no enthusiasm left in your life, and no one watching and encouraging you, it requires the grace of Almighty God to take the next step in your devotion to Him, in the reading and studying of His Word, in your family life, or in your duty to Him. It takes much more of the grace of God, and a much greater awareness of drawing upon Him, to take that next step, than it does to preach the gospel.
Every Christian must experience the essence of the incarnation by bringing the next step down into flesh-and-blood reality and by working it out with his hands. We lose interest and give up when we have no vision, no encouragement, and no improvement, but only experience our everyday life with its trivial tasks. The thing that really testifies for God and for the people of God in the long run is steady perseverance, even when the work cannot be seen by others. And the only way to live an undefeated life is to live looking to God. Ask God to keep the eyes of your spirit open to the risen Christ, and it will be impossible for drudgery to discourage you. Never allow yourself to think that some tasks are beneath your dignity or too insignificant for you to do, and remind yourself of the example of Christ in John 13:1-17". ~My Utmost For His Highest

Friday, January 9, 2015

Are You Stupid?

About 10 years or so ago, a heath care practitioner whom I was seeing wanted me to give up Cokes, because let's face it....they destroy your body. I wasn't drinking but about 8 oz a day, and I told her that probably wouldn't happen. She softly rebuked me, and I was pretty aggravated with her. Less than 2 hours later, the Lord answered me.
"Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but whoever hates correction is stupid." ~Proverbs 12:1
Yes, the Lord just called me stupid. I laughed. Not disrespectfully, but because, boy, He didn't pull any punches.So, I quit drinking Cokes (except for rare occasions. I have been off of them completely for 3 years). I mean, you can't argue with God calling you stupid.
Is there something in your (and my) life that God is using someone or something to try to get your attention? Is there a habit or sin that He wants gone? Something that is destroying the temple of God? Whether that's physically, emotionally, or spiritually. Is He trying to get your attention to give up something or to start something? To slow down? To stay home more? To work less? Buy less? Give up junk food? Sugar? Smoking? A sinful intimate relationship? Temper tantrums if you don't get what you want? Are we just ignoring or getting aggravated at those around us who are directly or inadvertently showing us what God wants to make our lives better? More Holy. Is holding on to a food you love, or a habit you love, or the internet, or activities, or busyness, or an outright sin, or...... keeping you from God's best? And, yes, the things we put into our mouths, the choices we make with our time, can keep us from God's best. He loves us enough to say, "Stop this. Ignoring or hating correction is stupid. I want great things for you, and I'm trying to show you the way, but you are spoiled and don't want to work to have My best." We need to start paying closer attention to those nudges and those articles or comments that either convict us for half a second before we shut them down, or that we immediately scoff at and refuse to acknowledge because we don't want to give up our comforts or desires. Does it feel like you could never do it? Never stick to it or give it up? That it's too big for you? That's exactly where God will step in if we allow Him to. It may be a struggle, but He will help us when we are honoring Him with our lives.

" “Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh; is anything too difficult for Me?” ~Jeremiah 32:27

"Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?" ~1 Corinthians 6:19

Ask Him what you are doing or not doing (such as daily time with Him or eating healthy foods, etc.) that is hindering His best in your health, heart, and life~which hinders you giving your best for Him. He will show you, and He will give you the strength to do that thing. I'm working on it.

Thursday, May 29, 2014

The Everlasting God

the Everlasting God ~Genesis 21:23, Is 40:28
underneath are the everlasting arms ~Duet. 33:27
His lovingkindness is everlasting ~1 Chron 16:34 (+42 other times!)
the truth of the Lord is everlasting ~Psalm 117:2
(His is) everlasting righteousness~Psalm 119:42, Daniel 9:24
every one of Your righteous ordinances is everlasting~Psalm 119:60
Your name, O Lord, is everlasting~Psalm 135:13
Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom ~Psalm 145:13, Daniel 4:3
the righteous has an everlasting foundation~ Prov. 10:25
For in God the Lord, we have an everlasting Rock~ Isaiah 26:4
saved by the Lord With an everlasting salvation ~Isaiah 45:17
you will have the Lord for an everlasting light~Isaiah 60:19
make for Himself an everlasting name ~Is 63:12
He is the living God and the everlasting King ~Jeremiah 10:10
everlasting love ~Jer. 31:3
His dominion is an everlasting dominion~ Daniel 4:34; 7:14, 27
everlasting life ~Daniel 12:2
His ways are everlasting ~Habakkuk 3:6

If your life is hidden in God, if you have entrusted your life to Christ by His finished work on the cross, then you have a firm foundation. What peace.