Last Wed. I made the choice to go to Lowe's to look at cabinets and floors to replace where we had the flood in Nov. The concrete and 1/2 old vinyl tile~1/2 wood floor really doesn't bother me too much, but I was having a few "good" days, so I thought I'd tackle it. It tacked me. Thursday was a completely horrid day. Horrid. Worse than a very long time. Not just physically....and it was indeed horrid physically...but emotionally and spiritually as well. At the end of the day, I collapsed in the floor, sobbing, and said, "I just want to live through this." Right that second, I wasn't sure if I could. No strength to go on; to fight.
But God in His goodness whispers to me.
He holds me. He reminds me. He provides for me. He encourages me. He is my strength. If I am focused on Him, not myself; His promises and His character, not how things look; then I have every reason to be thankful, to praise Him. If I look to myself or to anything else, it is hopeless, and at that point, I probably can't live through it! But, I serve a God who shows me the good, who gives me glimpses of Himself and what He is doing, who whispers to me in the dark places just how much He loves me, who died for me! That alone makes Him worthy of my praise no matter how dark the battle may seem.
But, guess what! Just because the battle is dark, doesn't mean I have to live in the dark. "My eyes are continually toward the Lord, For He will pluck my feet out of the net." (Psalm 25:15) and He promises that His grace is sufficient for me...and you! He is fighting for us!
As I focus on Him, this stops being a season of asking or wondering why. It becomes a season of asking Him to show me Himself. To show me "great and mighty things which I do not know." Does that make every day easy? No. And, some days are down right hard. But, it makes every day worth living for, every day worthy of praising Him, every day worthy of giving thanks, because when I focus on knowing Him, everything else dims. My losses, my needs, my desires are in His hands...trustworthy, capable, loving hands. And, guess what! I am inscirbed there. (Isaiah 49:16)
A trial is called a trial because it's HARD. I know there will be more. More to test and strengthen my faith, but I can face them knowing that He is all powerful, He loves me, He works for my good, and He will not leave me. There is much to praise and thank Him for even at our lowest points. Even when we don't know how we will live through it.
This morning I posted an article on my facebook page about suffering, and this is a quote from it~