Look At What God Did!!

Some of you know the story of where our life is right now, but since it's key to this story and some may not, I'll try to give a short version. Four years ago in Oct., God clearly told James to stop building *anything*. (If you want to hear how we stepped out of that and God showed us He meant business, let me know!! ha!) There was no doubt. He didn't know what he was supposed to do, but we just decided for the time he would spend lots of time with the girls, do some projects on the house, and be able to spend more time in Bible study. Those were the things we listed. I told him then, we have (blank) *weeks* worth of money in savings. A few weeks later, I felt strongly the urging to read 1 Kings 17. I had no idea what it was about, but I turned and read, and I met God there! Through that scripture He told me without a doubt that He wanted James to use this time of drought to hide in His Word, and that He would continue to provide for us; the jar would not run empty until the drought was over. That, as I said, was 4 years ago. He has brought our provisions for 4 years~not only for our needs, but even enough for vacations and our daughter to have a beautiful wedding. During this time God has brought James into ministry, worked in lives in an amazing way, and is slowly (in our eyes) shaping it each step of the way.
Let me just say this has been a crunch time the last few weeks. This is where God has said, "Do you trust me? Do you still believe what I told you? When the brook runs dry, when the jar seems almost empty, do you trust me?" So, insert a dead oven, lots of supplements for my adrenal issues, and up until today around $600 worth of eye doctor bills in the last 3 months. As you know, I needed laser treatment on my retina. I asked last visit how much it would be, and she told me right at $900. Then she said, "Oh, wait. That's self pay. If you file it on insurance it will be $1600." (yeah, that's a scam) Since we have a $5000 deductible, we would have to pay about $1400 of that out of pocket. So, in the meantime, 2 things. One, we decided to not file it on our deductible and self pay Two~ I prayed and prayed. For almost a month now, I have prayed, "Lord, we need $900 for this." "Lord, please send us at least $900 in time for this surgery". ( :-) Yeah, I guess it doesn't hurt to ask for a little more for all those other dr bills!) Somewhere last week, it slowly seeps in that that might not be His plan. He might want us to keep trusting Him to not let the jar run empty. To trust Him. This morning before we left, I prayed, "Lord, no $900 yet, so I guess you want us to just trust You to keep providing. So I am."
When we got to the office we told the lady we wanted to self-pay and why, and she told us, yes, that's about 1/2 the price. So, after the procedure, we went out to the window to pay. Are you ready for this?? : ) She looks at the paperwork and says, "He didn't charge you for the laser; just an office visit, so that will be $136." We're standing with our mouths open, and say, "What? He didn't charge for the laser?" "Yep. $136." I walked out of that office in tears and thanking God for His faithfulness! A doctor randomly knocks over $650 off of our bill? I'm still speechless. And, not only that, He was good to show me, give me a visible picture that He's still watching over us, still taking care of us, still going to provide, and James is still on the right path in what God has shown him to do.

Faith to Keep Walking on the Water?

It seems, as with Peter, when you step out of the boat, it's so easy to focus on Jesus standing there before you. He has given you a clear directive, "Step out of the boat, and come to me." It's exhilarating, unbelievable, awesome, exciting, freeing.... And, then 1/2 way between you and the promise, the waves start tossing. You toss a fleeting glance at the water, but you quickly get your eyes back on Jesus. But, life, your own ingrained fears, and the enemy have thrown just enough momentary doubt at your feet that the exhilaration starts to wan. You've refocused back on Jesus, but now there's this slightest amount of doubt. So, when the storm increases, when the waves hit your ankles this time, then your calves, you're looking at the water, instead of keeping your eyes on Jesus. Then what do we do? There's no indication that Peter did this, but for me, it begins, "Was that really You, Lord? Did you really call my name? Maybe I was hearing things?" Fortunately, I haven't sank yet!! And, I don't plan to! : ) "What time I am afraid I will trust in You."

When God told James he was finished building, He gave no indication of what he WAS supposed to do. James was immediately willing and did step away, but He had no idea what God DID want him to do. We discussed that this free time was the perfect opportunity for him to delve into the Word and grow in his relationship with God, which he did. About 4 months later, God spoke clearly to me through 1 Kings 17. You know~ Elijah, the drought, the widow with the never ending supply of flour? One of the very first verses, God commands Elijah to go east and to hide by the brook Cherith, and "It shall be that you will drink of the brook.." I don't know if you'll see it, but it was very clear direction for us that James was to hide in Jesus, the living water. He was to continue in His Word, learning and growing in wisdom, and God would meet and provide for our needs.

That was 4 years ago. God has provided for us in amazing ways without us asking for help, all the way down to vacations and a very beautiful wedding for our daughter. But, yes, there have been moments of the water splashing around my ankles. Even in the midst of His provision. And, then there's now. It's really starting to threaten. I'm really struggling to keep my eye on the Provider not the provision. So, when I felt drawn to study 1 Kings 17 again last week, this is what I saw, "It happened after a while that the brook dried up." Not that I hadn't seen that before. In fact, I remember very clearly wondering if I could hang on to such strong faith when the brook dried up. But, I think there was something in the back of my mind, especially as God kept providing before we needed it, that said, "the brook won't completely dry up. God has been doing all these things, and He won't let it dry up completely." Hmmmm.....that's not what it says.

What it says is that the brook dried up, THEN God showed Elijah clearly where he should go, and how He would provide for him. Where are my eyes? On the water, or on the Provider, the promise, the Savior? Some days they're right where they should be, and some days...mostly those days when I have to pay the bills or balance the checkbook, or a lot of expenses are coming....like this week...I have a hard time keeping my eyes looking up, off the water. See, all this time we've had a small stash of money in mutual funds. We haven't had to touch it because God has been so good to us. And, of course, He is still good to us, but now it seems He is calling us to let go of that last of it. That bit that was probably a security to us, even though we didn't really think about it.

We know God has called James into ministry, and we have seen God use this time for His work in some amazing ways! Plus, the relationship, knowledge, wisdom, insight, and confidence in speaking up and out have continued to grow. But, even as James has been seeking God continuously on where this was going, we haven't had any answers. Much of the time has been preparation. In the past few months, though, God has given James a burden, and perhaps begun to give him a vision for this ministry....at least what it is to focus on, if not yet how that is to be accomplished.

So, as these days progress, and the brook dries up, I pray that I have the strength, wisdom, and faith to cling to my Father, who only gives good things to His children; to keep my eyes on the Provider; to remember His promises; and to wait *EXPECTANTLY*, joyfully, and with faith on what He is going to do next, because He WILL show us where to go and how He will provide.