Friday, May 4, 2007

So, What Are You Doing.....?

.......after you graduate?  If you have a high school senior, you (they) will hear this question over and over again.  It's not been too bad this time around. Briana has an acceptable answer......she's going to college.  Everyone thinks that's so wonderful, asking what her major will be, where she's going, telling what they know about the college---very engaging. 
Rewind 2 years.  Ashley was graduating.  "So, what are you doing after you graduate?"  "I'm going to take online writing courses, work on my writing--hopefully, getting something published, and keep volunteering in the different ministries I work with."   The response----"Oh."
 It didn't take long for her to hate that question.  I think even if she had said she was going to work (of, course, at a "respectable") job, that would have passed.  But, humph, follow your dreams?  Do what's in your heart to do--write and serve others?  And, without pay?????  Don't you know what you're missing out on not going to college?  How will you ever get a good paying job? (Who said I wanted one?)  I like this story from I Saw The Angel in the Marble by Chris and Ellen Davis. 
"...my wife and I had a conversation with our middle son, James.  My oldest son, Seth, always had a pretty good idea of who he was and what he wanted to do in life.  James, however, had graduated from 'high school' the previous year and was still not sure what he wanted to do .  James is a serious-minded, godly young man who had a part-time acting job.  James had been sharing with his mother how he was struggling with being 18 years old and still in the process of discovering who he was in the Lord and the direction of his life.  At this point my wife said, 'Son, very few people are ever given the freedom and time to find out who they are and what that means for their future.  Most just go get a job, only to discover later that they have spent years doing something that is not really what is in their heart to do.  What your Dad and I want to do for you is give you a most precious commodity: Time.  You will leave us soon enough and we will never again have the kind of relationship with you that we have now.  We are not in a big hurry for you to leave the home life we have all enjoyed together.  What we do want is for you to come to terms with what the Lord has placed in your heart.  For most people this takes some trial and error.  The best gift we can give you right now is time.  There is nothing magical about graduation from high school.  It doesn't mean that your education is over.  What education means to us is finding out what God has created for you to do and then having enough experiences to be good at that.'  Not long after this conversation, the Lord sovereignly brought into James' life an opportunity to attend a very special college in California.  After two years in this school, James discovered his real love: working with children.  What if we had not trusted the Lord to bring to James just what he needed at just the right time. Or, what if we had not given God the time to open James' spirit and reveal to everyone what He had put into James to be expressed to his generation.  "
Even though there have been some hard moments for her, this last 2 years has been a wonderful, growing, learning time for Ashley.  None of us would have changed it for anything.  She has written and served, spent oogles of time in His Word, and has learned more about what He wants her path to look like.  She has always--since she was about 8 years old--felt called to ministry of some kind.   That's what this time has been about---what is that ministry supposed to be about.  He is preparing her in everything she does.  Her life has certainly been no less purposeful or full than someone who went to college or had a paying job.  She has ministered and blessed tremendously.  Like the guy in the story, she has now decided to go to college (online).  But, now, it has a purpose---His purpose.  The statistics of how many people go to college, but never work in their chosen major is astounding.  (My husband one of them.  He has a degree in accounting, but after many years of searching, was finally able to do and prosper in what he loves--building houses.)  These kids go to college because they are expected to.  I am so thrilled that the Lord gives us the freedom of TIME.  Time to let Him speak, time to worship Him, time to be molded into the person He wants us to be. 
Forward back to Briana--She has known for a long time that she wanted to learn Interior Design.  She is so excited about that.  She made the choice to go to college to learn it.  We are just as thrilled for her.  She has sought the Lord with her future and made the choice she feels best for her.  None of us know what the future holds for her as far as whether she will work for someone, or do decorating on the side when she has a family, or whatever.  We do know that these are the desires and callings He has placed in her for now.  God will teach her through her experiences, and they don't have to look like anyone else's. 
Funny, I find myself wanting to ask kids what they are doing after they graduate!  I have learned to word my interest very carefully, so that they know that whatever they have chosen, I do not stand in judgement.  Who am I to know what the Lord has called them to do?
I encourage you to not give in to the world's perspective and pressure.  Look for who God has called YOUR child to be.  Don't force them to walk a road God never intended for them because that is what is expected and accepted (by the world, by family members, or by YOU). 
I would highly recommend the book I Saw The Angel in the Marble.  It will give many people a whole different perspective on "HOMEschooling". 

This book also carries recommendations by many recognizable names in the homeschooling community, with the forward by John Taylor Gatto.
Letitia


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