It's Probably Time

I know it's probably time to move past grieving for a loss of relationship; for a longing for a relationship that we were all born to crave. Grieving of the rejection and loss; longing for the unconditional love, acceptance, and time. I just don't know how. I don't know how to move past it with healing, instead of walls. And, yet, I've done it before. I know it has to be the work of the Lord to bring that healing. I just don't know what my part looks like. This time is deeper, harder, and feels like a final blow. It's not about forgiveness. I have worked through feelings of anger and bitterness as they have come up. I continually ask God to reveal my heart and to help me forgive. One thing I have learned in my life is that sometimes forgiveness has to be an ongoing process, especially when the hurt comes over and over again.

And, here's the twist. I can't let go of the relationship. It's not possible. I just have to learn to not let it tear my heart out. How do you learn to have a positive, good relationship with people when there is no trust and when, in addition to all those other things mentioned above, you know that person harbors bitterness toward you over something that you had absolutely no control over? None. Except that you spoke and brought the darkness into the light. No, I can't talk about it with them. It's not allowed.

I know the promises of the Lord, and He is great and merciful. He receives me and loves me unconditionally. I don't have to perform or work for His love, and He is not disappointed in me when I fail. He gives me all the time in the world, if I only give it to Him. He is the master Healer, He binds up the broken hearted, He restores our soul. He also gives us treasures such as a loving husband who lets me cry on his shoulder when it's too painful, and who loves me in spite of me . And, 4 wonderful, beautiful children.

There is a time for grieving. But, how do you know when that season is past, and it's time to move on? And, what on earth does moving on look like? Lord, show me.

Psalm 16:11~"You will make known to me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; In Your right hand there are pleasures forever."