Faith to Keep Walking on the Water?

It seems, as with Peter, when you step out of the boat, it's so easy to focus on Jesus standing there before you. He has given you a clear directive, "Step out of the boat, and come to me." It's exhilarating, unbelievable, awesome, exciting, freeing.... And, then 1/2 way between you and the promise, the waves start tossing. You toss a fleeting glance at the water, but you quickly get your eyes back on Jesus. But, life, your own ingrained fears, and the enemy have thrown just enough momentary doubt at your feet that the exhilaration starts to wan. You've refocused back on Jesus, but now there's this slightest amount of doubt. So, when the storm increases, when the waves hit your ankles this time, then your calves, you're looking at the water, instead of keeping your eyes on Jesus. Then what do we do? There's no indication that Peter did this, but for me, it begins, "Was that really You, Lord? Did you really call my name? Maybe I was hearing things?" Fortunately, I haven't sank yet!! And, I don't plan to! : ) "What time I am afraid I will trust in You."

When God told James he was finished building, He gave no indication of what he WAS supposed to do. James was immediately willing and did step away, but He had no idea what God DID want him to do. We discussed that this free time was the perfect opportunity for him to delve into the Word and grow in his relationship with God, which he did. About 4 months later, God spoke clearly to me through 1 Kings 17. You know~ Elijah, the drought, the widow with the never ending supply of flour? One of the very first verses, God commands Elijah to go east and to hide by the brook Cherith, and "It shall be that you will drink of the brook.." I don't know if you'll see it, but it was very clear direction for us that James was to hide in Jesus, the living water. He was to continue in His Word, learning and growing in wisdom, and God would meet and provide for our needs.

That was 4 years ago. God has provided for us in amazing ways without us asking for help, all the way down to vacations and a very beautiful wedding for our daughter. But, yes, there have been moments of the water splashing around my ankles. Even in the midst of His provision. And, then there's now. It's really starting to threaten. I'm really struggling to keep my eye on the Provider not the provision. So, when I felt drawn to study 1 Kings 17 again last week, this is what I saw, "It happened after a while that the brook dried up." Not that I hadn't seen that before. In fact, I remember very clearly wondering if I could hang on to such strong faith when the brook dried up. But, I think there was something in the back of my mind, especially as God kept providing before we needed it, that said, "the brook won't completely dry up. God has been doing all these things, and He won't let it dry up completely." Hmmmm.....that's not what it says.

What it says is that the brook dried up, THEN God showed Elijah clearly where he should go, and how He would provide for him. Where are my eyes? On the water, or on the Provider, the promise, the Savior? Some days they're right where they should be, and some days...mostly those days when I have to pay the bills or balance the checkbook, or a lot of expenses are coming....like this week...I have a hard time keeping my eyes looking up, off the water. See, all this time we've had a small stash of money in mutual funds. We haven't had to touch it because God has been so good to us. And, of course, He is still good to us, but now it seems He is calling us to let go of that last of it. That bit that was probably a security to us, even though we didn't really think about it.

We know God has called James into ministry, and we have seen God use this time for His work in some amazing ways! Plus, the relationship, knowledge, wisdom, insight, and confidence in speaking up and out have continued to grow. But, even as James has been seeking God continuously on where this was going, we haven't had any answers. Much of the time has been preparation. In the past few months, though, God has given James a burden, and perhaps begun to give him a vision for this ministry....at least what it is to focus on, if not yet how that is to be accomplished.

So, as these days progress, and the brook dries up, I pray that I have the strength, wisdom, and faith to cling to my Father, who only gives good things to His children; to keep my eyes on the Provider; to remember His promises; and to wait *EXPECTANTLY*, joyfully, and with faith on what He is going to do next, because He WILL show us where to go and how He will provide.

A Sneak Peek

I thought I'd give a sneak peek at what I'm wearing to the wedding. : D











It's navy, as you can tell, with the little rhinestones going all the way around the neck line. In case you haven't heard, bling is the 3rd official color of this wedding. haha! It didn't show up in the pictures I tried to take, but it also has a "swag" across the stomach over to the left side, which is also on the bridesmaid and flower girl dress. I didn't set out to look for that, or even the bling, but it's a very cool find. Briana and I are both super happy with my dress. : )

Silver is the 2nd official color! (Lilac is the first.) Please ignore my rough, dry feet that are desperate for lotion, sun, and a pedicure. I hope to solve all 3 in the next 9 weeks!! And, see, they (the shoes, not my feet) have just a touch of bling, too! : ) I've had fun with this. What I dreaded SO very much, and thought would be a monsterous, evil task, turned out pretty fun and easy.

Just Life

So much for my intention of blogging every week. It's not that I didn't think about it. I just have not thought I had anything to say of any interest to anyone. I have some deep post thoughts running around in my mind, but not the time to sit that long to develop them right now. Or, maybe not the drive to yet. Most of my mind is consumed by wedding preparations and thoughts, and you can only listen so many of those without boredom. Everything else is just the random dailiness of life. I also haven't had the chance to get on here and cultivate many blog friends again, and most of you that I do have see all my "news" on facebook. Send me your friends! LOL!

So what has been going on around here? Lots of wedding prep, as I said. Ten weeks from today! How did it get so close? How did my little girl grow up and meet the man of her dreams and it get so fast to this place of turning loose? There were lots of emotions in the beginning, they tapered off for a while, and now they're back. Lots of bittersweet times. We are having a great time together, though. Lots of shopping and planning. Lots of laughing.

Briana and I went together last week and found my dress. I was dreading that so much. I knew lots of things that I did NOT want, and hadn't seen anything online that I did want or would feel comfortable in. I really prayed over that shopping trip. It's difficult to explain, but I also have some physical issues (in addition to the tummy bulge!!) that limit greatly what I can wear. God heard me, and after 2 or 3 stores, I finally found 3 to try on. The first 2 were horrid, but the 3rd one came home with me! I was so excited, and we both liked it. The only altering it will need is length, since it is floor length, and we're going with shorter dresses. Now I just need shoes! Trial number 2 for my ensemble!! : ) Size 10, silver with some sparkle, heels needed for this dress, but not too high because they make me taller than James. : )

I'm doing pretty well with adjusting to Ashley moving out. One day last weekend, I had a hard day, really missing having her around to talk to, but God has helped me adjust. It helps that I have been getting to see her about once a week, too. I just wish I could talk to her more. She doesn't have phone service still, unless she walks back over to the office and calls me. At least we can communicate through facebook, which we make the most of.

We're at Briana's right now. We came to see the closing performance of Camp Rock. I'll brag on her.... the Broadway reviewer from Nashville came to see the show last week. When he was out at lunch with the Playhouse executives, he singled Briana out, and asked them who she was. Said she was a great dancer! I love to watch her dance! She started rehearsals this week for My Fair Lady.

Please lift up a prayer for her. She is looking for another part time job, and is having trouble finding one in this small town, especially one that will work around her shows. I know God has something out there for her. She really needs one by the time they get married. Along the same lines, Ashley is also waiting on God in finances. She is working through the North American Mission Board, and through this program she has to raise about 1/2 of her own support. She needs more donations and/or monthly pledges.

We're enjoying a day of rest around here today. The younger girls are excited that their cousins are visiting my parents here in the same town this week, so they will get to play with them this afternoon before we head home tomorrow.

Random Thoughts...Random Life

As I was pulling up my blog site, I glanced up, and James has a tab open which says, "Body replacement parts for FR". LOL. I wonder whose body parts he's considering replacing. Glad my initials aren't FR!

All of my living-at-home family...which has dwindled down to 4 now...went to Briana's on Thursday afternoon. She had a new show, Camp Rock, opening Sat. night. James took photos Thurs and Fri of dress rehearsals. Ashley drove over on Sat. morning to see the opening, so we got to enjoy all being together~ an event that is getting more rare. Everyone but me went home on Sun. I stayed and went with Briana to get her dress fitted on Monday. What fun! I so wish I could post pictures!! Not yet, though.

All of the wedding planning is coming great, and I think we're in a pretty good place with most of it, but I am starting to hit panic mode more often. : ) It seems like every time we cross a couple of things off the massive list, we have to add one or 2 more on. Most of the major things are taken care of; just a lot of little STUFF. If I remember correctly, we are at 13 1/2 weeks! The biggest obstacle left (pun not intended, but slightly appropriate!) is my dress!! Aaaacccckkkk!! I dread that SO VERY MUCH!! Not to mention I *hate* clothes shopping. I guess the other biggy is praying the bridesmaid dresses all fit. They are due to be in March 18th. Sizing them was a very big pain, and I will be relieved when I see that none of them are too small, because they are made to order, and can't be returned. I have had so much fun helping Briana, and she is so easy to get along with. She pretty much will just go with the flow. Only a few "have-to's", so far. : )

I am helping Marissa learn to cross stitch. She doesn't do a lot at one sitting, but she has stuck through several sittings so far. I'm surprised, because that doesn't seem like her. I hope she'll finish it. It's a picture of a horse head. And, go figure... I'm helping her try to learn shorthand. Wow. This was her request. I actually took a course in shorthand in college.....26 years ago. Let's just say it barely caught on, so it sure didn't stick. Today was our first lesson. It's almost like learning a foreign language...at least how to write in one.

We do not participate in a co-op, and Marissa was needing more social than just at church on Wed night, since she's an assistant leader in AWANA, not in a youth group. Getting together with a friend is so hit and miss, so I decided to try to do something about it that would make me stick to it. I started up a small teen/pre-teen group, and we are trying to meet once a month. Not everyone can participate every month, but we have a total of 7 girls, I think, ages 11-13. Mom's are included, too. We have as much fun as the girls. Right now, while it's still cold, we just get together at someone's home, eat, talk, they play games, laugh, and enjoy the company. I need to get busy planning one for the end of this month.

Okay. Enough random stuff. Nothing big or overly news worthy going on here; just the every day things of life that make us a family.

There's Gonna Be a Wedding

....which is a line out of Brigadoon, the show where Troy proposed to Briana. I know many of you saw the details on Facebook, but I wanted to share them here, for those who didn't...and because it's on my mind and heart today.

Troy called James toward the end of Aug. 2010, and asked to meet with him, without Briana's knowledge. Of course, we felt sure what this meeting was about, and he did, indeed ask for our blessing to marry Briana. (I just love that!) The two and a half week wait until his chosen proposal date was excruciating! haha Especially considering I went to Briana's for the weekend just 3 days after his and James' meeting. Now we know where she gets her wonderful acting skills from! LOL!

Since the Playhouse stage is the first place he ever saw Briana~dancing in The Nutcracker~ the first place he got to really meet her~2 months later in rehearsals for Shenandoah~the place where they are both both actors and everyone loves them, and because Briana simply LOVED the musical Brigadoon, which they were about to open, Troy chose on-stage opening night to propose~Sept 9. Let's just say it was simply magical and entirely romantic, and WE GOT TO BE THERE! After the curtain call, the male lead of the play, got the audience's attention, and said a cast member had an announcement. Besides family, only he, the director, producer, the orchestra leader, and the sound guy knew what was coming. Troy pulled a bewildered Briana to the front of the stage, and began to talk. (I'm tearing up now!!) You could see the light dawning in everyone's eyes, as he began speaking to her about the first time he ever saw her being on this stage.

Proposed to by a man in a kilt! : ) I don't think this photo is big enough to see her crying, and all the facial expressions of the cast, but it was a very emotional time. I was crying, Ashley was crying, all of the women in the cast were crying, and everyone in the audience was cheering and clapping; Briana couldn't pull her hand away and quit crying. It took a minute for everyone to quieten down, so that he could actually ask!
My facebook album entitled The Proposal has the whole thing captured, and the changing facial expressions of the cast are priceless.

Don't ask anyone how I got through the show, waiting on this. I was a wreck. I leaned over at one point and told Ashley that I thought the woman sitting next to me thought I was on something. haha. I even told a complete stranger while we were standing in the bathroom line at intermission, because I thought I was going to explode if I didn't tell someone. LOL! Troy's mom and dad, aunt and uncle, and his sister, who flew in from TX, also got to be there. It was a wonderful night!

The wedding date is May 22, 2 years to the date of their first date.

I've never been a crier (except watching the reveal on Extreme Home Makeover!). When Briana started in shows at the Playhouse, I became a "Briana's shows crier. When they started dating, it started creeping in on me more. I am now officially a crier. I cry at everything....even videos online of complete strangers' weddings! LOL. Not a hurting crier; just a crier. : ) It's all good!

Comfort Zones

James got his new blog off the ground. If you didn't read it on Facebook, here is his entry on comfort zones.

www.getoutoftheboatblog.com/?p=6
(I don't know why this doesn't highlight, but if you copy and paste it, it will take you to the right place.)

I must say that I am super proud of him. James is not a writer. He has never liked to write; never wanted to write, and has always been a grammatical disaster! : ) About 2 1/2 years ago, during all of the changes he mentions, James came to me and said, "God wants me to write. I can't write. I don't know what to write." I said, "Just write. Take notes on your Bible study and write down verses that stand out to you and why. God will show you where to go from there." In that time, it has gone from that to writing 2-17 page papers on foundational theology, which God used to bring someone out of legalistic bondage, to this blog. He will be the first to tell you that God did the writing; he just typed. But, I am still proud of his willingness and obedience to step out of yet another comfort zone. His grammar is pretty good now, too! : )

Letitia

More Changes Are Here

Tis the season for lots of changes in our home. On Monday of this week, Ashley got notice from the North American Mission Board that she had been excepted into their program. We knew it was coming, and were just waiting on some loose ends. We are so excited for her!!

Ashley has known since she was about 4th grade that she was called to mission work. For now, and perhaps always, that call is to camp ministry. She has been a counselor at a camp near here for several years, then working there part time, year round, for almost a year and a half. They hired her knowing she felt called to this ministry, and excited to train her in all aspects of the ministry. She has learned a ton!

Now through the Mission Board, Ashley will still be working for the same camp. The difference is that now she will work full time, and she will be moving out to live on camp property. This is an exciting opportunity for her in so many ways. First of all, she will be learning new jobs now, and more aspects of how to run the camp. Secondly, she will begin to learn more of the real ups and downs of being in ministry. They will provide her housing, utilities, and a small salary. The rest of her support will have to be raised. Third, she is super excited (and almost just as nervous) about moving out on her own.

We have been busy shopping for some basic furniture and kitchen wares. How fun to decorate your first place. It's hard to believe it's been a year and a half since I helped Briana with all of her shopping!

And, then there's the hard part. Not seeing her on a daily basis anymore. We have been super blessed beyond measure to get to still have her with us through her college courses and work. It's time for her to go out, but we're sure going to miss the laughter and joy of her silly self. Late night chats, hearing her play the guitar up in her room, snuggled up on the couch with her daddy and me watching a movie.... The good news is that she is about 50 min. away, so we will get to see her hopefully a little more often.

This part of her job will last through until the end of May, at which time she will switch to summer camp mode. Last summer in camp mode she worked 16 hour hard, physical, hot days with only one hour off most weeks! Some weeks she didn't get the hour off. The good part of summer camp for us is that she will come home every weekend. ; ) When you spend 16 hour work days in a place for 12 weeks, you're a little sick of it by the weekend!

So, exciting times here. We think she will be moving out either next week or the following one, although, she's taking a few loads with her this week when she goes to work. Me....I'll stay in denial, thank you very much, until one day it hits!!