We had a really fun time yesterday at the Smoky Mountain Bloggers Picnic that Maria organized for us.  There was a great turnout--11 moms, 4 dads, and 38 children.  Now, Maria, tell me again WHY was it you didn't want to have this at your house?  : )   The number 38 had something to do with it, I think.

 

In no particular order, there was: Maria, Sami, Betsy, Ashley, Briana, Angie,Gena, her dh Paul, all of their kids (I give up on finding all the links to all the ones I don't know!), Kris, JenIg, Coie, AmyBeth, Annemarie, Vickie, Dawn, and of course me, and my husband, James.  Then there were a whole bunch of kiddos.  AnneMarie's husband and Maria's husband made a short appearance, too. 

That Betsy is such a sweet lady.  I had the best time talking to her over lunch.  Another doll is Angie.  I regret that she and I didn't get to spend more time talking, because she is one of those bloggers that I feel connected to without even meeting her.  I would *love* to spend more time with both of these ladies.  (Well, I love spending time with the rest of you guys, too!) 

Kris and I got to chat about yearbooks for a few minutes.  Didn't I sit next to you at dirty bingo back in the winter?  Kris is one fun lady.  Although she did insult me right off the bat yesterday saying I look just like my avatar.  LOL! 

Here is a picture of the moms and a few of the children.  We couldn't round most of them up from the playground. 

The young adult crowd.

WOW--6 entries in one week

That's amazing.  I usually do good to get one a week!

Last week (I think) we went to Dollywood for the first time this season.  Last year was the first time we had had season passes in years, and we decided to get them again this year.  Along with that came some "bring a friend for free" passes, so my parents got to go with us.  The first couple of hours was drizzly rain, and we began to wonder if we'd made a mistake, but thankfully, the sun came out soon, and we had such a fun day. 

Has anyone ever experienced the Dizzy Disk?  All last year I kept begging someone in my family to ride it with me--secretly a little glad no one took me up on it.  I wanted to ride it, but was afraid I would regret it.  So, this year, I throw it out again, knowing I'm wasting my breath.  Well...wouldn't you know my MOTHER says, "I'll go!"  Briana  decided she'd give it a shot, too.  I wish I had a picture of the whole ride, so you could see it.  It's this long bowl shape.  There is a round disk that everyone sits on, and the disk spins and slides back and forth along this bowl shaped track.  It was so *awesome*.  The first time (yes, we rode it twice) I laughed so hard the whole time I couldn't breathe.  I never got sick or scared, but it was a doozy. 

This is James and Marissa on this thing where you pull yourself up to the top, then "freefall" (very slowly) back down. 

Briana, Marissa, Ashley, and Daniella on the kid's rollercoater.

The teacups.

This is the Dizzy Disk.  That is me in the yellow and orange shirt, laughing hysterically.  Briana is to the left with the hair flying, and my mother is to the left in the red shirt at the top left of the picture.  They're laughing pretty hysterically themselves.  We're supposed to go back next week with my sister and her girls.  I can't wait to get her on it!

Run With Endurance

This is an article that came today from The Homeschool Encourager

( homeschoolencourager.com ).  It is timely for me, and I thought it might be for others, also.  Hope you enjoy it, and it ministers to you.

"…Let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us"  (Heb 12:1-2 NKJV)

 

Well, most of us have crossed the finish line of another year.  Many of you, I'm sure, are graduating sons and daughters as well.  What an accomplishment—for them…and for you! 

Maybe you haven't thought if it this way, but every homeschooling family is in a race.  Not a race of speed, ability or performance—simply a race of endurance.  Yes, performance matters, and there is a pace we strive to follow; but homeschool winners are not determined by these things.  Winners are those who reach their finish line and "receive the prize" of God's pleasure and the personal satisfaction of knowing we made it.

The homeschool race is not a competition! There are no gold medals for quickness or agility.  Our race is not about personal strength or natural ability.  Thank goodness!  Many of us would feel disqualified if that were the case.  No, God chooses even the "weak" things of the world to "shame the strong" and to show His glory through us. 

Each family faces challenges and struggles during the homeschool journey. Some are educating disabled children or those with learning disabilities; some are single parents; many are military families dealing with frequent moves and the challenges that go along with that lifestyle, while others live on the mission field. 

In other words, we all start at different places.  Not only that, we have a finish line all our own!  The end result God has for you and your family—the goals and purposes for your homeschool—are not like any other family.  And when you get there, you won't look like any other family.  You won't look like a magazine cover, or sound like the perfect homeschool seminar.  Your children will have become who God created them to be—ready and willing to fulfill His purposes.

Your celebration parties will be as different as my two boys' graduations.  One was a formal catered dinner and reception, complete with speeches and special guests.  The other was a backyard Fiesta, with a piñata, homemade Mexican food, and overflowing with special moments and music. Both as important and meaningful in their own way—as yours will be.

There are points in the race, when all a runner can think about is crossing the finish line; when it's hard…when it's no fun…when you hit the wall.  That's when you need to imagine, a God-designed, beautifully decorated banner with your family's name on it, complete with streamers and balloons poised for your grand finale—that moment when you cross the finish and the crowd goes wild!  I count myself as a member of that crowd and I'm cheering you on today!  Regardless of where you are in the race, you can finish well. Keep running!

 Prayer: We praise You for this year and all that went on—help me remember the special moments that made it worthwhile. Give me the vision and endurance I need to reach the finish line You have set for us. Thank You in advance for all You will accomplish in my family and in each of my children through  homeschooling—amen!

Sue Brage * The Homeschool Encourager * 9585 Deer Horn Court #33 *  Parker, CO

A Trip to the ER

Saturday didn't turn out so restful.  Most of the day was, I guess.  And, I got my nasty front porch swept and cleaned up some.  But James had been having some chest pains since Friday afternoon, and they continued and seemed to be getting worse.  I wasn't too concerned at first because he's young and healthy and active, but it just seemed to get worse and didn't appear to be heartburn or a pulled muscle or anything.  So we decided to drive him to Knoxville to the ER.  Thankfully, my mom and dad were in town camping, and I was able to get in touch with them.  I knew Ashley and Briana could handle supper and getting the little ones to bed, but they aren't real thrilled about staying the night alone, and I knew we would probably be late. 

    We got there at about 6:00, they took him right in and ran an EKG, blood tests and an x ray.  They also gave him a nitroglycerin, which helped.  It was almost 9:00 before the dr. finally came back in with the results.  Everything seemed to look okay, but they wanted to be able to rerun the blood work, so they wanted to keep him overnight.  James didn't want to stay overnight, so the dr. consulted with another and decided it would be just as good to wait until 11:00 to rerun the tests..  If everything was fine then, they would send him home with more nitro, and he was to come back if it got worse.  So, that is what we did.  We got home at about 12:45 Sun. morning.

   He had some pain yesterday, but not quite as much, and he took it easy most of the day, except we went to Briana's piano recital.  He was supposed to go back in today for a stress tests and some others, but found out this morning that the hospital doesn't take our insurance, so they wouldn't run them.  His dr. through this same hospital takes our ins, so now he's got to go in to see him this afternoon, then he can order the tests, and the ins. is supposed to cover it. 

   Now we also have the question of whether they are going to cover the 6 hour ER visit Sat. night.  The billing dept says they think they will, because even though they aren't on our preferred provider list, ins. will usually take anyone's ER when it is something like chest pains.  We have such an outrageous deductible like it is that we were already probably going to have to pay $1,000 or more out of pocket. I can't imagine what the total bill will be. 

    So, now James hasn't been able to eat since 10:00 last night, his appt. is at 2:30, and they still don't want him to eat just in case they can get him in for the tests late this afternoon.  The tests will last approx. 5 hours. 

   Hopefully, we'll get some answers this week.

   

Update on James

  James saw his primary care physician this afternoon in order to get the insurance to cover the stress test.  They ended up having schedule it at a different hospital to do that, and they couldn't get him an appt. until this Friday.  The dr. wasn't happy with that, but there was no other choice.

   Basically, he told James that he had absolutely no risk factors for heart trouble, but he has every symptom of heart trouble.  However, he still thinks it's a small chance that this is his heart.  He also does not believe it is stress. (If you knew James, you'd know he seldom gets stressed about anything, and his blood pressure is always like 120/65, including lying in the hospital Sat. night.)  He said the good EKGs and blood tests really didn't mean anything except that he was not having a heart attack at the time.  So, we all just have to wait and see what Friday brings.  The dr. did give him some meds for acid reflux.  Even though James doesn't feel like he has that, it can cause chest pain, so he wants to see if that makes any difference.  He's on orders that he can work, but to take it very easy and not to do anything strenuous.  So we wait and see and trust God to take care of him.

   

Thanks!

  Thank all of you ladies who took time to encourage me yesterday and today.  I can tell at least someone was praying for me.  Even though I didn't sleep well or long last night, my overwheming fatigue is gone today, and I haven't once felt like crying so far!  Of course, I haven't been faced with someone asking me to go somewhere today either.  : )  I have been able to spend a peaceful day at home, and Lord willing I will tomorrow, too. 

   To answer a few of the questions brought up quickly:  No, I don't exercise enough or go outside enough.  I always notice a big difference if I go outside even for a few minutes, so it baffles me why I never think to take the time to do that enough.  We do eat a pretty healthy diet.  It is not perfect by any means, but we make our own bread (most of the time--it slides when the schedule gets so busy), I buy a good bit of organic, although not as much as I'd like.  I drink oj in the morning, and pretty much water the rest of the time.  I occasionally have decaf tea, and sometimes a tiny bit of Coke, but not daily.  We don't usually eat too many sweets or junk food.  We take loads of whole food vitamins and herbs.  I wish I could come up with casseroles and dinners that didn't have so many noodles, and things my family would actually eat. It seems like everything has pasta and tomato sauce.  I like both, but would like to get away from so many things with pasta. 

    Actually my husband has volunteered to take the little ones somewhere every so often for the afternoon.  He'll gladly do it if I ask him to.  There just hasn't been much time.  I have to decide not to feel guilty for not going to do fun things with them--hiking, etc, especially since that's something I'd like to do, too.  Our Bible study Tues. night and reading your comments have helped me realize how much I do out of guilt.  I am really going to work on that. 

   It has been a pretty quiet day around here.  Marissa worked on making a play on the computer for a while, Daniella and I played a board game, I did some housework, I read for a little while, and Briana played with Marissa and Daniella up in their room for about 2 hours this afternoon. 

   I'm very excited for James.  He was finally able to buy a "new" truck this afternoon.  His was a 1992, much too small for his work, and running on prayers--literally for a few years now.  He would pray every morning when he got in that it would make it to the job sites. He's replaced almost every part in that thing, including the engine.  You'd think it would have run like new.  It finally gave it up earlier this week.  What was funny is that he was only 100 yards from our driveway, but it just died and wouldn't go anywhere.  We had to call AAA to come tow it up the road to our yard.  God blessed him with some extra work this year, and we have been putting all of that into savings so that we could pay cash for a truck.  A subcontractor of his is going to buy the old truck for $1500, hopefully this weekend.  Thankfully, it lasted until we had enough cash to pay for the new one. 

Marissa creating a play.  The list in front of her are words she asks us how to spell for her to use in the dialogue.

Daniella playing Herd Your Horses with Mama.

James and "Behemoth". 

I hope all of you ladies have a blessed weekend.  Thank you again, and please continue to pray for me to hear God's direction.

I love you all in the Lord!

Being Real

Well, everyone is saying make sure you are real on your blog.  So, this is what's real in my life right now.  I am miserable, totally miserable.  Physically, emotionally, mentally miserable.  So there it is.  I have had meltdown after meltdown over the past 3 or 4 weeks. 

   My physical is mostly absolute exhaustion, which I can't seem to get out of.  It is a symptom of me running too much.  Not this year, but in the past, I have had all the tests run-thyroid, etc.  There seems to be nothing "wrong" with me.  It seems as though my body just can't handle running around.  Emotionally I can't seem to handle running around either.  Am I a freak?!  I hear all these other homeschool moms getting together, running here and there, and they don't spend days trying to recooperate.  Why does only maybe one day a week seem to be my limit? 

   Even before the last few weeks of physical exhaustion set in, I was struggling.  I need prayer that I can enjoy homeschooling my children again.  I love my children to pieces, I have no desire or thoughts what-so-ever of them going to a school, but I am absolutely tired of sitting down teaching.  It's very selfish.  I know there are people who have been doing this much longer than I have.  I wanted (and want) this 2nd set of children.  God blessed us with them.  So, why am I being so selfish to not want to sit down and give them that time right now.  Does anyone else ever go through this?  I read posts of moms saying their kids were all gone for a day or a few hours and how they missed them so much the whole time and they couldn't wait until they got home.  Here I am LOVING every minute of the Wednesday nights when I had the house to myself for 2 hours, and that not being long enough.  And, hating the fact that I won't have that time this summer.  Now don't get me wrong.  When Briana is gone for camp for 2 weeks, I will miss her terribly.  Even Ashley being gone for a week will be very hard.  It's just feeling that need for some long, quiet time here and there. 

     I am praying that God will help me move my own desires out of the way, and restore my desire to serve and teach my girls.  I also need to pray to know how to balance my life.  I don't know how to be everything I feel like I need to be, and not collapse.  I feel as though I am failing my family.  Not to mention the fact that I'm sure they are sick and tired of seeing me spontaneously burst into tears all day. 

   Am I alone in this? 

UPDATE 4/4/13~ How crazy to read this almost 7 years later, and know that 6 years after this was written, I was diagnosed finally with Lyme Disease, which is what was, and still is, causing this crisis.